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Get down, get undressed
Aug. 10th, 2006 11:59 pm
High today in KW: 26. Dewpoint then: 15. High dewpoint: 18.
High today, here: 27. Dewpoint then: 16. High dewpoint: 18.
Just when I think I must've hit bottom, Curt Schilling loses to the Royals. A day after Jonathan Papelbon lost to the Royals. Man. Wow. Mercy.
On the other hand, the Blue Jays are back in it! Right? Right? Look: if anything can possibly happen to get you back in it, then you were never out of it, hmm?
But what I want to know is, what are they doing letting people on planes wearing clothes? Listen, this is a matter of safety. Of national security! If you don't fly naked, the terrorists have won. Or will more likely win.
Anyway, it is clear that Osama wants to blow up some planes to show that he's cooler than Hezbollah. Which is, like, so lame. He probably picked up this week's New Republic, saw the "Move Over, Osama" headline and the drawing of the Shiite Santa, and said, that's it, I'm blowin' me up some planes.
Why planes, I have to wonder. Well, you know, they do blow up real good. But it's hard to blow up planes. Relatively speaking. Very inefficient, trying to blow up planes. So they blow up, or try to blow up, trains, too, sometimes, and the odd building--but my bit of free advice to the terrorists is: cars. I have to believe it'd be really goddamned easy to blow people up with cars. Just slip under random cars here and there, stick some explosives in there or screw up the brakes somehow or something, and, man, wow, there goes society. Can you imagine if every time you got in your car, you had to think it might blow up? Think about it!
Then again, I'm not entirely sure that terrorists could make a statistically significant difference in the number of people killed in cars. I mean, every time you get in your car you might die, or kill multiple other people, as it is, and yet that doesn't seem to bother hardly anyone except me.
High today, here: 27. Dewpoint then: 16. High dewpoint: 18.
Just when I think I must've hit bottom, Curt Schilling loses to the Royals. A day after Jonathan Papelbon lost to the Royals. Man. Wow. Mercy.
On the other hand, the Blue Jays are back in it! Right? Right? Look: if anything can possibly happen to get you back in it, then you were never out of it, hmm?
But what I want to know is, what are they doing letting people on planes wearing clothes? Listen, this is a matter of safety. Of national security! If you don't fly naked, the terrorists have won. Or will more likely win.
Anyway, it is clear that Osama wants to blow up some planes to show that he's cooler than Hezbollah. Which is, like, so lame. He probably picked up this week's New Republic, saw the "Move Over, Osama" headline and the drawing of the Shiite Santa, and said, that's it, I'm blowin' me up some planes.
Why planes, I have to wonder. Well, you know, they do blow up real good. But it's hard to blow up planes. Relatively speaking. Very inefficient, trying to blow up planes. So they blow up, or try to blow up, trains, too, sometimes, and the odd building--but my bit of free advice to the terrorists is: cars. I have to believe it'd be really goddamned easy to blow people up with cars. Just slip under random cars here and there, stick some explosives in there or screw up the brakes somehow or something, and, man, wow, there goes society. Can you imagine if every time you got in your car, you had to think it might blow up? Think about it!
Then again, I'm not entirely sure that terrorists could make a statistically significant difference in the number of people killed in cars. I mean, every time you get in your car you might die, or kill multiple other people, as it is, and yet that doesn't seem to bother hardly anyone except me.
